"in stitches" means in pain, it's not nature for reader to think of its 缝线 meaning right away. Even if they do, the "doctor remove them" part is confusing, because when you are in pain, will you have your doctor remove your "缝线" or keep it?

Anyway, you are probably brilliant, and writing a pun that confuse readers and amuse oneself is totally fine. But you brilliancy will be much bettter acknowledged if you produce something, either a prose or novel that is better than 钱钟书's. It shouldn't be hard for you. After all if a copycat can do it, you should be able to do it better.

And please, can we leave school name out of ID? You have every right to use any name. But there is still lines to draw. You will probably not use your family member's name as ID, just in case people throw nasty things to ID. Then a school is like family to many many people, wouldn't it be a notable thing to do to leave it out of ID name?