Liberation

Feminists are people who believe women are better than men, because they are equally intelligent and equally capable, but much more modest and less demanding.
Once upon a time, a group of feminists went to the Central Park of New York for a demonstration. They were shouting: "We are free; we are free."
A group of (male) stockbrokers from Wall Street were taking their lunchbreak in the Park, and said to each other in worried tones: "The market must be falling very badly." An elderly stockbroker went over to the feminists and advised them: "No matter how bad the market is, do not panic. Never buy at the top; never sell at the bottom."
To avoid similar misunderstandings in the future, the feminists decided to use the word "liberated" instead of "free". So they called their organization Women's Liberation Army.
Unfortunately, an organization in China called the People's Liberation Army, which was predominantly male, objected to the infringement on their trademark. They said that "people" include "women". The feminists however argued otherwise. "People" include also "men", which are bad, while "women" only include "women", which are good. Hence, "women" is better than "people", and their claim should take precedence.
To assert their claims, the feminists raised a Statue of Liberation in Tian An Men Square, a health centre in the heart of Peking famous for its Tai Ji exhibitions. The People's Liberation Army then sent in tanks, which were made of steel. As the Statue of Liberation was made of paper mache (molded wet tissue paper), it disintegrated upon contact with tanks.
Since then there has been no Statue of Liberation in Peking. However, the example inspired feminists everywhere. Similar statues have now been found in Hong Kong, a rocky island off the south coast of China famous for its dogs and dog-eating monsters, and Washington, DC, an American city well known for its white houses and black population.

Deng Xiao Ping's Conversation in Chinese and English

Deng Xiao Ping was the world's leading expert on rodent extermination. As we know, rats steal our food, destroy our furniture and buildings, and spread the plague. This is why good rat exterminators are benefactors of mankind, and rat extermination is a big business.
There are different schools of thought in the field. Deng Xiao Ping believed that a cat of any colour is good for rat extermination, but his great rival, Mao Ze Dong, believed in only using the right coloured cat. This controversy was very harmful to the cause of rodent extermination; it delayed progress for two generations. In addition, Deng Xiao Ping had to contend with millions of Cantonese who like to eat cats, whether black or white, making them unavailable for rodent extermination, and to breed rats for eating, instead of completely exterminating them. The road to success is indeed a hard one.
In USA there is another important figure in the business, Bill Clinton, who lives in a white house with a white cat called Socks. Once he came to visit China. At the banquet, Clinton made a complimentary remark about Deng's beautiful wife and Deng replied "Na Li; Na Li". The translator unfortunately misunderstood and told Clinton "he asked 'where? where?'". Clinton then said "Oh everything about her is beautiful", to which Deng replied modestly "Bu Jian De; Bu Jian De". The unfortunate translator again misunderstood and told Clinton "he said 'cannot see; cannot see'". A puzzled Clinton then said "What? He cannot see? but I can see", and the translator told Deng "he says 'What you cannot see, he can see'" which made Deng furious. That set back China-US cooperation in rat extermination and cat breeding for many years. It also explains why Clinton has such a poor reputation concerning women.
Later Deng decided to visit USA, and sought advice on American life. He was told Asian culture is very popular there; like, even little kids like to play the sitar, and get their parents to give them baby sitars. He also found out that Texas has jack rabbits, and lumber jacks who hate rabbits use a special gun to shoot them. This is called the jack uzi. He was told what personal information, like name, age, marital status, he has to give to immigration officials.
At the airport, the immigration officer wanted to verify his intention to be a genuine tourist, and asked "where are you going in USA?". Deng, thinking that the officer asked for his name, replied "Wo Xing Deng". "What are you doing in Washington?" Deng Xiao Ping thought the officer wanted the rest of the name, and so replied "Xiao Ping". "Oh shopping; how are you going there?" Deng Xiao Ping thought he must want the age, and said "Ba Shi". "After going shopping by bus, what do you plan to do?" Deng then gave his marital status "You Lao Puo". "Oh you are going to Europe after shopping in Washington; good you can enter.."
The immigration officer, responsible and consciencious he might be, never appreciated that Deng's real mission was to promote rodent extermination all over the world. What does a great man like Deng Xiao Ping care about shopping, even in a nice city like Washington? Deng passed away in February 1997, but his ideas live on. Today we all believe that rats must be exterminated, and black or white cats are equally good for this purpose. Even Americans agree that Deng Xiao Ping is one of the most important historical figures of this century.